Late-Night Personalities Take Aim At Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Visa Scheme

Late-night's top hosts spent the airtime mocking former President Donald Trump's newly announced visa program, labeled the "gold card," describing it as a blatant pay-for-access system for the wealthy.

Colbert's Witty Spin

Starting his show, Stephen Colbert delivered a sardonic Christmas tune directed at the commander-in-chief. "He's compiling a list, reviewing it twice, before giving that list to the people at ICE," he sang. "Donald Trump ... destroys each thing he comes into contact with."

The subject was the controversial program which enables foreign citizens to acquire U.S. legal status for an investment of one million dollars, with a "platinum" version for 5 million. An official page promises approval "faster than ever."

"A quick note here to affluent foreigners: prior to you fork over the cash, have you considered Canada?" Colbert quipped.

He noted that the scheme is also intended to "extract cash" from businesses looking to hire foreign workers, with hefty payments. "That is a lot of fees, however if you register, you also get a complimentary stay at a property of your choosing – if it's the that one hotel," he added.

"The best vetting the government has ever done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to ensure these individuals absolutely are eligible to be in America."

"That's important, you gotta prove you're suitable to be an American," Colbert responded. "First question: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Scathing Critique

On his late-night show, Jimmy Kimmel dubbed the initiative the "Get Into America Express Card."

"It's a card that will allow affluent international individuals to live here," he stated. "For a million bucks, you get official resident status, you get a road to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one serious crime of your selection."

"It might be time to change that inscription on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your huddled masses. Give us a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked.

Kimmel lampooned the brevity of the application, saying it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a condo."

"Exactly, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel said. "That's what Jesus always said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you give the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers covering Affordability Issues

Elsewhere, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's declining poll numbers during financial concerns. "People gave Donald Trump a second term since they were upset about the economy," he said.

This week, in a effort to tackle affordability, Trump held a briefing in front of a selection of grocery items, where he behaved peculiarly to boxes of cereal.

"These look great, I think I'm going to take a few of them with me to my place and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a long time."

"He's so fucking weird," Meyers said. "What do you mean, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What are you gonna do with those Cheerios?"

Meyers wrapped up by mocking right-leaning news coverage of Trump's economic record. "Maybe rather than voicing concerns, you should give him a sparkling trophy similar to what FIFA did," he joked.